I’m thinking about working on this design… honest
Being Daddy chimed in this morning with a tale of almost confrontation at the bookstore. Apparently he caused a serious case of the willies by being *gasp* a father *gasp gasp* caring for his daughter out in *gasp gasp gasp* public.
I had to comment here on this. I’ve heard many similar stories both from the dads’ blogs, the moms’ blogs and in person of SAHDs being pointed at, poked and prodded and generally not accepted as fully functional parents and productive members of society.
Frankly, I haven’t found this to be the case for me. Apart from the odd ‘taking the day off?’ or ‘giving mommy a break?’ comments, I’m not really picking up many negative vibes. In fact, in some cases it’s been exactly the opposite. I’m not the only Daddy dropping off and picking up at J’s nursery school and there are three other Daddies at S and L’s Mother Goose class. Every now and then I sense I’m getting the dirty eye from someone, usually a much older woman who probably thinks I’m a child molestor, but more often than not I’m not picking up any vibes whatsoever.
Maybe that means that the SAHD has officially arrived? Or maybe I’m just oblivious.
I’m oblivous.
I am a FTF with a 1 year old boy. While vacationing in the Outer Banks, I took my son to a restaurant for lunch while my wife was at a spa next door. The mother of a family of 4 at the table next to me said “giving mommy a break?”. It got me thinking how presumptuous saying that is. Obviously she is assuming that my wife stays home while I hold a regular job, but what if both my wife and I worked? What if I was a single father? Divorced? or God forbid a full-time father? What makes it even more inappropriate is that we were obviously on vacation. She’s assuming that the care of our child continues to be mommy’s primary responsibility even while we are on vacation. Anyway, not wanting to get into it in a public place I just told her mommy was getting a massage. What’s a good response for that comment when you are in a public space?
I’ve been asked if I’m taking a day off or if I’m giving Mommy a break a number of times. I usually just say ‘nope’ and leave at that. Let the other person wonder what the hell I’m talking about. I mean, why get into a confrontation?
I actually get more dumb twins questions (’which one is the good one?’ ‘are they really twins (they don’t look very much alike)?’ and so on…) then I get dumb stay at home dad questions.
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