I’m thinking about working on this design… honest
No, I wasn’t nice.
I’ve been driving a 1994 Acura Integra with 125,000 miles on it, just praying it would last another year.
On Tuesday (my birthday!!) I was going from point A to point B on the Cross Westchester Expressway when the monster got very quiet. No power. No juice. No breaks. No nothing.
At least the radio still worked so I could drown out the sound of my screaming.
Somehow I managed to get it off the highway, down a street and into a parking lot, call AAA (a whole ‘nother story, trust me those asshats have lost a member) and get it towed.
$480 for a new timing belt and that’s not even dealing with the fact that the engine might have been damaged.
No. Fucking. Way.
Now in order to truly enjoy this story you need to know something about Sue. From her mother, she inherited certain powers. The power to spot a bargain and more importantly the power to force innocent mice and sales clerks to give her the best deal possible. There are hotel clerks all over Europe and North America still quivering like released jello after an encounter with Sue.
So last night, Dearest Sue and I went off to the Honda dealership to get me a new teleportation device.
The first salesbot saunters over only to be met with a lightsaber to the gut. After making quick work of the remaining sales and service staff - the sole living salesbot hiding under his desk, Darth Sue whips out an expired coupon from Shoney’s and says ‘this is the deal you will offer us….’
Saturday I take possession of a new Honda Civic plus we get a lifetime supply of beef jerky and the kids’ college tuition is paid for.
And he threw in undercoating and floor mats.
Congrats! I’m in dire need of a new car also.
No chance that you will be in the UK soon? I could certainly use Sue’s help - I must be the easiest person on the planet to sell too - all they need to do is show me any flashing (or better yet glowing) lights and I am hooked.
David:
Samantha is known as the “Dragon Lady” by certain people. I am too nice to people, especially telemarketers. She, on the other hand, has barbecued many the instant they open their mouth
Having been a small-business owner for a number of years, she became very adept at flaming the wealthy clients who stalled when paying their bills. There are also a large number of tradespeople who either flee, or bow to her in compliance.
I love my wife…and I always hold the door for her.
smp
Wow. sorry for your troubles…especially on your birthday! Your wife, as always, sounds quite valuable and wonderful…enjoy your Civic…we love ours…
I’m off to get some flashing LED’s to attach to my old kettle. With any luck I’ll be selling Ross a new wizz bang ‘mood kettle’ for a bargain price of £40!!!
Don’t read that bit Ross!
Well, have fun in the new car, and I suggest that you designate one car as the kid car, to keep the other one clean.
Just a thought from the childless one.