I have a very strained relationship with religion in general and with Judaism (the religion I grew up with) in particular. I’m an athiest, somewhere beyond Richard Dawkins and Douglas Adams but not quite as cranky as Christopher Hitchens. My own personal beliefs are closer to Zen Buddhism and maybe someday I’ll have the courage of my convictions to actually live it in my own life rather than live it as an abstraction.
Complicated, I know.
There are however two traditions in Judaism that speak strongly to me and have impacted the way I try to live my life. One is the customs and traditions around death that emphasize the fleeting nature of our own existance. The other is the tradition of asking for forgiveness at Yom Kippur.
In Jewish tradition there are sins against Gd and against our fellows. And Gd can only forgve us for the sins committed against Her or in Her name. Acts of person against person can only be addressed between those two people. Gd has nothing to do there. We’re really on our own.
As Savvy Auntie Melanie reminded me last week, the sins they do add up. Like dust bunnies under the bed they are there and rather than get out the broom, get down on our hands and knees and clean the damn bedroom we just look the other way.
I’m certainly guilty of not cleaning out the dust bunnies of life from under the bed of fate. I’ve let a lot of things slide in the past few months and I’m going to try harder in every part of my life to do a better job in the New Year.
So if I’ve let you down, bored you, annoyed you or otherwised pissed you off… forgive me. I’ll try harder next year.
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